She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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