What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
