Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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