Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Just invented taco cereal.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
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