he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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