she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Less talking, more tequila
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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