Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
