GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
are you so shy because you have an std?
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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