One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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