can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
