i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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