so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
