If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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