The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
