so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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