Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
