My friends, they love my intelligence
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Panties = found
Randomize
