I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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