separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
