I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
