So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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