Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
sex in a hospital.. check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize