My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
