I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
