i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
