I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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