ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
