She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
