I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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