I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i will never coherently bang her
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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