Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Randomize