I must be too annoying 4 u.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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