chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
