I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
