I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
