in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
bring money and cleavage
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
