What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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