im six kinds of drunk right now
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
