oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
