So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize