Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS