'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual