glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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