If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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