mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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