You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
