Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
