at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
