so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
