I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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