i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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