trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
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