WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
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