It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
