But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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