Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
