Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
